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How your romantic pattern affects you and your relationships Expect significant shifts in the types you might date. You will be attracted, and loyal to, people who are different from people you're accustomed to dating. Do you look for people like your parents? Different from your parents? And who are you accustomed to dating? If you usually date button-down types, you may seek out a rebel on a motorcycle. If you already tend towards rugged guys, a pinched accountant or smooth business person may become the object of your desires. As you're dreaming of someone different, you may also be exploring new possibilities in other areas of your life, such as questioning the beliefs you grew up with, trying new clothing styles or food, or traveling to exotic places. It's possible you may seek out a person who's more accomplished than you in a certain area, hoping he or she can inspire you to achieve as well. If you want more adventure in your life, you may date someone more daring — a race care driver or a bungee jumper. A dashing foreigner may be just the one to introduce you to new things. Regardless of how your romantic pattern plays out, this will undoubtedly be an exciting period in your life, marked by steady personal growth and exciting new experiences. You will be trying new things, in love and other areas of life. As you gain independence from the past, you will grow more confident in yourself, leading to even better choices when it comes to romance, career, and personal development. There is nothing wrong with breaking a few rules and hearts. This is your time to break away if that's the right thing to do. Recognize your pattern and recognize if there's something else out there you need to get out of your system, or need for a fulfilling relationship. Don't blame yourself! Your romantic pattern is only a pattern and you can run with it, or break it. How to avoid common mistakes If your past relationships have left you unsatisfied, seeking out a different type of partner may be just what the doctor ordered. If your parents were wonderful, dating someone like them can be the beginning of a happy, long future. But keep in mind that your expectations for romance may be unreasonably high, setting you up for some disappointment if you pay more attention to someone else's past instead of your present. A new relationship can be the perfect catalyst for making needed life changes, but no one person is going to solve all your problems or give you the independence you need. Those are things that only you can do. This romantic pattern is the result of something missing from your life. It could be your need independence, more excitement, or less risk. It's important for you to determine what it is. The good news is that once you know your own motivations, you can avoid the common pitfall of expecting too much from the other person. Then you can enjoy being with the person who inspires and helps you accomplish your personal goals. How to recognize someone who's healthy for you The person who's right for you is someone who loves your just the way you are, but is also able to stand by as you explore life changes. If you're hoping to make more money, the right person might gladly pick up the tab at four-star restaurants or surprise you with tickets to a Hawaiian vacation. They should also step back however, to show you how you can do the same. If you're seeking an adventurous romance, you'll want a significant other who'll gladly leap out a plane with you, scale the Alps, and gamble the night away in Vegas. At the same time, this person will never force you to try activities you're not ready for. Teens seeking independence from their parents and adults seeking freedom from a constraining relationship will need to distinguish between destructive rebels and productive ones. Rather than going for the criminal type or the carefree do-nothing, try a romance with a passionate activist who's rallying the masses to make the world a better place or a hard-working, rugged type, who comes home smelling of the great outdoors. Even though your romantic pattern is about establishing independence, any relationship you have should have the stamp of approval from your friends and the family members whose opinions you respect. While secret relationships are certainly scintillating, for a while, they may not last long. However your romantic pattern plays out, it's bound to be full of new experiences, adventures, and excitement. You'll undoubtedly learn a lot and grow as a person. Whether it's a love to last a lifetime or simply a romantic fling, your pattern is one that's tied to the romances of the ages. ![]() | ![]() |
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